i remember this day in my school when 3 of us close friends, decided that we bunk an important exam .Reason ? simple ..we hadn't studied .
the day before the exam , some how my friend got this sensible thought (or non sense ) -what ever , that it is very wrong of us to bunk an exam as we had been in the good books of teacher's always . She calls me up and gives me a philosophical lecture that it is ok to fail but try , we must .She convinced both of us somehow and promised that she would be there for the exam on time , without fail .Most of u , reading this will (or could ) think of us as nerds as there could be many of u ,who would have just missed exams . Well , i can only tell u guys , i don't know about the "nerd part " but i really dont have an explanation for this . Knowing 100% that we shall fail , we still some how didnt "feel right or ethical " to bunk an exam where our teacher took lots of stress teaching and setting up a good question paper .
Well,my friend and i were dump struck when we dint find the person who convinced us to write the exam , the next day morning !!.
my anger had totally no senses .It was as if a third eye was opened and i was waiting to burn her into ashes . it was too late to turn back so we both attended this exam some how ...
I can never ever forget this day in my life .After the exams , the first thing i did was to find a telephone booth .i called her up and before she could say anything, not even a single word, i gave her left and right !.. i have never been so upset in my life! (Well, if life meant the short span from my birth till that date ! ). how could she cheat me .i was fuming when she just said "my dad passed away last night due to heart stroke and just broke into tears" .
i didnt know how to react ! My friend who was with me also shared same emotions as i had . I cried , on the way to meet her . She lost her dad and here i was , thinking mean things about her . I hated myself ..I didnt trust my friend! how shameful! .
I walked into her room and she just ran into my arms crying .. and i was standing there holding her in the midst of grief and guilt .!
Years later , even now, she is one of my closest friend and most of my good old friends crown me as a trustful and patient friend. i guess every relation do matures and grows with age .Well , what had gone wrong that day ? i couldn't tolearte the fact that she broke my trust ? Or was it because i gave lots of importance to exams ? . or was it my immaurity , childishness or foolishness .Truly speaking ,i do not wish to justify my act .i had been a bad person to even think bad about a good friend . That was it .
i flung my exams terribly , got a bad report card and do not wish to quote on the troubles which followed , because some how they were nothing compared to the pain which my friend was going through at that time ...
It was then that i overheard some of my classmates remarking how lucky my friend was as she missed the test .After all she didn't have a bad report card .i was surprised to hear this but yes there were few who didn't know of the sad demise of her dad . NO !!! i couldn't turn around and walk, hearing this remark . i told them the matter and left them shocked .
years later , i still remember how, some of my friends marked her as "lucky" bz we all flunked in a test .. GOD ! how unlucky she was to loose her father at such a young age . he was the pillar of support for her . She had so many dreams as she came from a very conservative background and her dad was the only person who understood and supported her all the while thru ..
well, it was "us' who were lucky that rainy day when we were following our parents back home with a bad report card and she , her dad to the graveyard to pay her last respects. We lost a paper , a very important paper and she lost her father . The loss was immense for all of us but incomparable .
some times , things are not what it looks like . We may look at a person and remark "wowo he is so lucky " but we may never know . He surely will have some tensions which u are not aware of : after all there are lots of people in this world who are not comfortable sharing their problems with others , even with their closest friends. They would just like to keep it to them selves.
The people whom we consider lucky may surely be having issues which could be more trivial than your's.
Well , cant help comparing and expecting as humans , right ?then how do u find happiness and contentment .Gandhi ji has written "when u feel low , look around to some one who is less fortunate than u r , then u will find ur sorrows winding away ".. Well , i dnt know if it's ok to look at that person and feel good or to sympathise with his situation but i do know that when we mark some one as lucky and wish that our life was like "that person " there would be lots of people out there who may think that u are more luckier than them , and waiting for a chance to live "UR LIFE ".So , even in the worst of worst situations , we all are , in some ways "lucky" . Don't u think so ?
Saturday, May 29, 2010
why is life such a struggle ?
why is life always such a struggle ?
when we were kids we had to strive so hard because we were told that we need to get in good schools.. When we play or watch a tv show for long , the words of wisdom from parents , teachers relatives "u need to study , dnt waste time "!!! .. ok sorry
not to forget the bugging neighbours ! they have to interfere u know ..it their birthright !.
once in school, time and again the trauma of boards and getting into good colleges... we are send to tuition's, coaching classes and what not ! Patel sir's kid has gotten into a good engineering college , u need to get into a very good college beta ! Advice from all , which seemed more compelling than gita upadesh "study , word hard, only then can u get into good college..dont waste time hanging with friends , or going for useless movies " once in college , ofcourse who can ever forget the karate-kumphu we need to do to get those stress interviews, group discussions right !..and then finally we are in a job , we need to learn new things to keep up with others in work and to keep the managers happy , but surely- to have the work in hand '! after all "logon ki kami nai hein yahan pe " and u need to be really smart !
then comes the challenges in life like marriages , kids financial issues etc etc , were we run behind all this, one after the other .
"shadi karo beta , ur time is passing by" ... of course there will always be a Patel's sir's son or mishra ji's daughther to be compared with !
"have kids- its been 2 years since u guys are married "- "married life teek hein na ' koi problem to nai .. how come no kids ! Questions , questions !!! pressure from all sides, after all neighbours and relatives do contribute to the maximum "its time u had kids " their final verdict .
and u raise the kids with all the tensions starting from a diaper to school , to marriage ;then their kids " and hey !!! u are already running in Ur fifties !!
u are stuck with some , if not all - medical complications ..then again u play the cat and mouse game with life ! trying maximum to cope up with middle age, and how do u end up as!! i guess may be like another Patel sir who may tell the youngster's "hey ..hurry ..time... bla blah blah " ..the vicious cycle continues....
why is life such a big struggle ?? starting from the day one u r born , be ready , u have fallen in this race .
well , can u blame the parents? ..after all , parents always want the best for their kids and hence the pressure .
well.cant blame the society either .With the population rising exponentially , we all have to strive for the best ...after all Darwin has left his popular "survival of the fittest " mantra for all of us which we shall knowingly or unknowingly grip us till our grave.
I guess the bitter fact is , no one is to be blamed for all this . This is where the human evolution with all its goodness(and of course the negatives) have left each and every one of us . True but u really cant blame any one...u just have to go with the flow...
So yes, life is a struggle and will always be . To live each day can get challenging for many .but hey !
its never too late to make good memories . we try so hard to give our children the best of everything forgetting our sorrows and miseries , but do not forget one thing ; its ur life too. As u and i too know ,
time waits for no one .
Was there a place which u always wanted to go and u never could till date ? Was there a piano or a guitar class which u were waiting to join in ur childhood ? Was there a book or a sport which u wanted to take up which u had post poned due to lack of time ? Time ; u do not have it today and u surely will not have it tomorrow . Go ahead, fulfill ur dreams and make beautiful memories .
Do not forget to live.
when we were kids we had to strive so hard because we were told that we need to get in good schools.. When we play or watch a tv show for long , the words of wisdom from parents , teachers relatives "u need to study , dnt waste time "!!! .. ok sorry
not to forget the bugging neighbours ! they have to interfere u know ..it their birthright !.
once in school, time and again the trauma of boards and getting into good colleges... we are send to tuition's, coaching classes and what not ! Patel sir's kid has gotten into a good engineering college , u need to get into a very good college beta ! Advice from all , which seemed more compelling than gita upadesh "study , word hard, only then can u get into good college..dont waste time hanging with friends , or going for useless movies " once in college , ofcourse who can ever forget the karate-kumphu we need to do to get those stress interviews, group discussions right !..and then finally we are in a job , we need to learn new things to keep up with others in work and to keep the managers happy , but surely- to have the work in hand '! after all "logon ki kami nai hein yahan pe " and u need to be really smart !
then comes the challenges in life like marriages , kids financial issues etc etc , were we run behind all this, one after the other .
"shadi karo beta , ur time is passing by" ... of course there will always be a Patel's sir's son or mishra ji's daughther to be compared with !
"have kids- its been 2 years since u guys are married "- "married life teek hein na ' koi problem to nai .. how come no kids ! Questions , questions !!! pressure from all sides, after all neighbours and relatives do contribute to the maximum "its time u had kids " their final verdict .
and u raise the kids with all the tensions starting from a diaper to school , to marriage ;then their kids " and hey !!! u are already running in Ur fifties !!
u are stuck with some , if not all - medical complications ..then again u play the cat and mouse game with life ! trying maximum to cope up with middle age, and how do u end up as!! i guess may be like another Patel sir who may tell the youngster's "hey ..hurry ..time... bla blah blah " ..the vicious cycle continues....
why is life such a big struggle ?? starting from the day one u r born , be ready , u have fallen in this race .
well , can u blame the parents? ..after all , parents always want the best for their kids and hence the pressure .
well.cant blame the society either .With the population rising exponentially , we all have to strive for the best ...after all Darwin has left his popular "survival of the fittest " mantra for all of us which we shall knowingly or unknowingly grip us till our grave.
I guess the bitter fact is , no one is to be blamed for all this . This is where the human evolution with all its goodness(and of course the negatives) have left each and every one of us . True but u really cant blame any one...u just have to go with the flow...
So yes, life is a struggle and will always be . To live each day can get challenging for many .but hey !
its never too late to make good memories . we try so hard to give our children the best of everything forgetting our sorrows and miseries , but do not forget one thing ; its ur life too. As u and i too know ,
time waits for no one .
Was there a place which u always wanted to go and u never could till date ? Was there a piano or a guitar class which u were waiting to join in ur childhood ? Was there a book or a sport which u wanted to take up which u had post poned due to lack of time ? Time ; u do not have it today and u surely will not have it tomorrow . Go ahead, fulfill ur dreams and make beautiful memories .
Do not forget to live.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
realisations on facing death ...
i was in pg one day and just had this instinct to call up my friend who got married recently .With so much excitement i called up and her hubby sadly informed me that day before , her dad had passed away in a train accident . This was too much for me to handle , as i felt i knew her dad so closely . There was never a single day when she didn't tell me about how special her dad was for her .
how often we hear a train accident a plane crash , a car accident to some one near or far . we hear , we think, we pity , and then we just forget ; because we just dnt have "time " Who is the master of 'Time " ? or have we become slaves of the same ?
she saw a terrifying dream and woke up in horror and was so happy that she was still alive ! GOD ! what a horrible night mare ..
she ran and ran , toppled down the stars and finally a bullet shot her ! she was dripping in blood and breathing her last ...She felt sad . She wished she had some more time with her , there were so many things she wanted to achieve and now "no time "!
she got up in shudder ! thank God thank god she was alive and well . thank god it was just a dream . She stayed awake the whole night thinking about that bullet shot and the terryfing moments closer to death, till it dawned !
What if this would have been real . How terrifying is that one minute when u know that u are going to be in this world for just 'some more minutes "and u could hear the clock ticking away !. she wondered about the car accidents, the train mishaps and the plane crashes.. would they have gone through this fear ?the last one minute when they came face to face with death !
she lay awake in her bed thinking about her dreams and her wish lists .. she wanted to marry , have kids , cook , and invite her friends for a party . She was planning to go biking , trekking , learn swimming, yoga etc etc her wish list was end less ! she had some plans for her parents and her sister . When was the last time she talked to them in a nice way , without taking on the job frustrations on them ?
there were so many things which she wanted to do , and what if the time was too short .what could she have done ?. she would just pray , just pray GOD to give her some more time on this earth ... pray pray so hard that GOD had to listen to her ! But does life always gives every one a second chance ?
Next day morning , some how seemed very beautiful to her . She stopped grumbling , but opened her windows and embraced the cold winds which flew past her face . She saw a birds nest and sat gazing at it for a long time !She enjoyed her cup of tea then she slowly got ready , and went humming on her way to office .
Some how ,today she did not feel like hurrying .She took time to greet people around ,gave a smile and even gave a pat to few of her junior colleagues ! They all gave her a look of surprise ! After all she was a manager , and when was the last time she just enjoyed dressing up , wearing a nice salwar , hummed a beautiful romantic melody and walked past her corridors ! well , looks like in college .. those years where life only meant one thing - have fun !enjoy life !
She began her daily work in office and thought , how much she has changed . Now life was just full of frustrations and tensions , keeping up with dead lines,meetings . She remembered her final year in college where all had worked so hard to get a job to keep the life going ...Now , did the work keep the life going ??she wondered !.She had so many lovely moments in college to cherish and when she looked back at the past 5 years till date, she could not even trace any ! Had she totally wasted her 5 beautiful years just doing nothing but work !
The day went well and she was calm and relaxed She never thought her smile could be so contagious and could make the work place so good !.Some how she felt so good.. On the way back home , she met her dear friend who was talking about a loan which he had not got sanctioned . She wondered if the issue was really so big as much as he thinks .He was so much on the verge of a nervous attack , totally down , and her presence nor her counselling did him any good . She always thought of him as a very lucky person ; with his envious job, loving wife ,2 little kids and hoped that one day she too could craft a perfect family for herself too ..She left him, promising and assuring him that she would definitely help him and his family .
As she said her prayers at night before she fell asleep , she thanked god for all the goodness she was blessed with . She smiled when she secretly hoped that the same nightmare should strike her friend today .
"hey has some one prayed that a night mare like this should happen to me " this was her last thoughts before she feel asleep !
i guess in this busy life we do need a bad nightmare ,now and then , to count the blessings how ever big or small GOD has bestowed on us . To make us realise that we have many miles to go before we sleep and life is so precious ! make most use of every single day !
how often we hear a train accident a plane crash , a car accident to some one near or far . we hear , we think, we pity , and then we just forget ; because we just dnt have "time " Who is the master of 'Time " ? or have we become slaves of the same ?
she saw a terrifying dream and woke up in horror and was so happy that she was still alive ! GOD ! what a horrible night mare ..
she ran and ran , toppled down the stars and finally a bullet shot her ! she was dripping in blood and breathing her last ...She felt sad . She wished she had some more time with her , there were so many things she wanted to achieve and now "no time "!
she got up in shudder ! thank God thank god she was alive and well . thank god it was just a dream . She stayed awake the whole night thinking about that bullet shot and the terryfing moments closer to death, till it dawned !
What if this would have been real . How terrifying is that one minute when u know that u are going to be in this world for just 'some more minutes "and u could hear the clock ticking away !. she wondered about the car accidents, the train mishaps and the plane crashes.. would they have gone through this fear ?the last one minute when they came face to face with death !
she lay awake in her bed thinking about her dreams and her wish lists .. she wanted to marry , have kids , cook , and invite her friends for a party . She was planning to go biking , trekking , learn swimming, yoga etc etc her wish list was end less ! she had some plans for her parents and her sister . When was the last time she talked to them in a nice way , without taking on the job frustrations on them ?
there were so many things which she wanted to do , and what if the time was too short .what could she have done ?. she would just pray , just pray GOD to give her some more time on this earth ... pray pray so hard that GOD had to listen to her ! But does life always gives every one a second chance ?
Next day morning , some how seemed very beautiful to her . She stopped grumbling , but opened her windows and embraced the cold winds which flew past her face . She saw a birds nest and sat gazing at it for a long time !She enjoyed her cup of tea then she slowly got ready , and went humming on her way to office .
Some how ,today she did not feel like hurrying .She took time to greet people around ,gave a smile and even gave a pat to few of her junior colleagues ! They all gave her a look of surprise ! After all she was a manager , and when was the last time she just enjoyed dressing up , wearing a nice salwar , hummed a beautiful romantic melody and walked past her corridors ! well , looks like in college .. those years where life only meant one thing - have fun !enjoy life !
She began her daily work in office and thought , how much she has changed . Now life was just full of frustrations and tensions , keeping up with dead lines,meetings . She remembered her final year in college where all had worked so hard to get a job to keep the life going ...Now , did the work keep the life going ??she wondered !.She had so many lovely moments in college to cherish and when she looked back at the past 5 years till date, she could not even trace any ! Had she totally wasted her 5 beautiful years just doing nothing but work !
The day went well and she was calm and relaxed She never thought her smile could be so contagious and could make the work place so good !.Some how she felt so good.. On the way back home , she met her dear friend who was talking about a loan which he had not got sanctioned . She wondered if the issue was really so big as much as he thinks .He was so much on the verge of a nervous attack , totally down , and her presence nor her counselling did him any good . She always thought of him as a very lucky person ; with his envious job, loving wife ,2 little kids and hoped that one day she too could craft a perfect family for herself too ..She left him, promising and assuring him that she would definitely help him and his family .
As she said her prayers at night before she fell asleep , she thanked god for all the goodness she was blessed with . She smiled when she secretly hoped that the same nightmare should strike her friend today .
"hey has some one prayed that a night mare like this should happen to me " this was her last thoughts before she feel asleep !
i guess in this busy life we do need a bad nightmare ,now and then , to count the blessings how ever big or small GOD has bestowed on us . To make us realise that we have many miles to go before we sleep and life is so precious ! make most use of every single day !
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
hey wowo!!! FREE space to write !!!
it feels so good to get a space like this to express your thoughts , and am so much charged up and so excited that sadly words fail to come ~! ..How did this title "expresso" come up ?? Well , its funny actually . I was planning to start a blog and suddenly thought of a word which best describes my character ; my friends call me express !!! hahah , just like an express i walk, talk, in fact have bumped into (and some have actully fallen ) so many people in life .hey hello wake up ! am not talking about love here , all am saying is that is how this name came ; in hostel corridors many called me "minal" wa ma minall !! so may be tht's it or may be i may change the title later too ! confused !!! well yes guess i am confused , i take lots of time to decide and then things go round and round , but i must say , its ok to get confused but think ! unless a person thinks about all the pros and cons , how will he ever get confused , bz getting confused shows u r thinking and wait ! forget it ,, bz am really confused now mmm... Well this is a typical characteristics of Aries as said by linda goodman's astrology book ! and also by margrett mischelle's "Gone with the wind ". But am not an aries , am a taurus . In fact i call my self a declared taurean . Why so ? well may be because am a cusp and i know that virgos and taurus gel the best in marriage :) Well , i just read this blog my self now after i published and thot " Wat the crap '!!! who on earth would ever even feel like reading this !!! its just so random so confusing so very bad , i would say !!! but hey thts ok ..:) Remember i told u in the 1 st line u see am excited and u r meant to be like this when excited - totally out of speech out of world !! and this is just my introductory blog , u see , where am telling u guys about my self and i just loveeeeeeee talking about my self , i can go on and on ..in fact i have created the history where my family my friends my dilbar , have been put asleep with my so called "chit chats" (a small talk) so tht's ok .and in my campus interview u always have this question "tell me about urself ". We have rehersed this so much from the 2nd year of engineering college , so when this question was put to me .. i jumped into action and in fact almost brought out my janam patrika (my horoscope ) with so much happiness that the interviewer glared at me (oh god! how stupid i was ! thank god he didnt say "get out " ) and there was another guy sitting near him to take my stress interview and now to think of it sadly i feel i had him stressed out !!! i love myself the most and of course sabko apni apni pasand hoti hi hein (all have their likes dislikes) .Every person is so unique in this world and i love studying about people .. There is no good or bad person on this planet .. its all by what u think that matters .., its just the chemistry which binds u together with ur family friends or with ur husband wife kids etc etc . dnt u think so ?? Well i feel i have written so much already about me so much ...and who is interested to know about me anyways !!! u see , in these situations as you are now , ; if some one wrote a blog and it talked blag blah blah about them selves will i be interested .. hmm think think ..well genuinely a big NO ... exactly !! so why would i ever think that on a topic like "about me " some one would spend their time ?..so thts ok .. am totally ok ..but hey watch out for this blog ..its just purely my feelings ... and all the very best to u readers .. :) am so happy today to get my free space to write ..i really need to thank google and my destiny for giving me this Free time too to make a mark on net !!! :) H4 ki jai ho !!! for the time being its just that "my dil bole hadippa !!! " hehe :)
it feels so good to get a space like this to express your thoughts , and am so much charged up and so excited that sadly words fail to come ~! ..How did this title "expresso" come up ?? Well , its funny actually . I was planning to start a blog and suddenly thought of a word which best describes my character ; my friends call me express !!! hahah , just like an express i walk, talk, in fact have bumped into (and some have actully fallen ) so many people in life .hey hello wake up ! am not talking about love here , all am saying is that is how this name came ; in hostel corridors many called me "minal" wa ma minall !! so may be tht's it or may be i may change the title later too ! confused !!! well yes guess i am confused , i take lots of time to decide and then things go round and round , but i must say , its ok to get confused but think ! unless a person thinks about all the pros and cons , how will he ever get confused , bz getting confused shows u r thinking and wait ! forget it ,, bz am really confused now mmm... Well this is a typical characteristics of Aries as said by linda goodman's astrology book ! and also by margrett mischelle's "Gone with the wind ". But am not an aries , am a taurus . In fact i call my self a declared taurean . Why so ? well may be because am a cusp and i know that virgos and taurus gel the best in marriage :) Well , i just read this blog my self now after i published and thot " Wat the crap '!!! who on earth would ever even feel like reading this !!! its just so random so confusing so very bad , i would say !!! but hey thts ok ..:) Remember i told u in the 1 st line u see am excited and u r meant to be like this when excited - totally out of speech out of world !! and this is just my introductory blog , u see , where am telling u guys about my self and i just loveeeeeeee talking about my self , i can go on and on ..in fact i have created the history where my family my friends my dilbar , have been put asleep with my so called "chit chats" (a small talk) so tht's ok .and in my campus interview u always have this question "tell me about urself ". We have rehersed this so much from the 2nd year of engineering college , so when this question was put to me .. i jumped into action and in fact almost brought out my janam patrika (my horoscope ) with so much happiness that the interviewer glared at me (oh god! how stupid i was ! thank god he didnt say "get out " ) and there was another guy sitting near him to take my stress interview and now to think of it sadly i feel i had him stressed out !!! i love myself the most and of course sabko apni apni pasand hoti hi hein (all have their likes dislikes) .Every person is so unique in this world and i love studying about people .. There is no good or bad person on this planet .. its all by what u think that matters .., its just the chemistry which binds u together with ur family friends or with ur husband wife kids etc etc . dnt u think so ?? Well i feel i have written so much already about me so much ...and who is interested to know about me anyways !!! u see , in these situations as you are now , ; if some one wrote a blog and it talked blag blah blah about them selves will i be interested .. hmm think think ..well genuinely a big NO ... exactly !! so why would i ever think that on a topic like "about me " some one would spend their time ?..so thts ok .. am totally ok ..but hey watch out for this blog ..its just purely my feelings ... and all the very best to u readers .. :) am so happy today to get my free space to write ..i really need to thank google and my destiny for giving me this Free time too to make a mark on net !!! :) H4 ki jai ho !!! for the time being its just that "my dil bole hadippa !!! " hehe :)
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