Evolution : Daughter to a Mother

Nitya was very silent . She felt very sad . she was the best daughter any parent would want to have . Then why were her parents always cribbing and complaining ? She felt irritated .
She opened her books to study . Her mother called her down for helping her with cooking . Grumbling , she walked down stairs and thought , Neeta never does any cooking at home . Her mom pampers her so much . They get her any thing she demanded and she does not even study well !

Her mother was casually talking while her mind roamed around her other friends . Padma! God! She even has a boy friend and her parents take it so lightly . how can they ? are they not worried or bothered about her ? Will my parents be ok if I take some one home ? Nitya was 100% sure her dad would throw her out of the house .

It was not that she was unhappy .She loved her family and would do anything to make them happy . Just anything in this world .But her parents never appreciated her . Never ever ! Not even once ; at lest she didn’t remembered any .
They loved her and adored her , she knew that , but she wished one day they would pat her back when she came first in her class, pamper her with toys or not scold her if she dropped curry on the table top and ........................

She felt so jealous of her cousin . Her aunt boats about how she tidies up her room , folds her own clothes, and how good she is in studies . Why ? What’s so great about it ? why is her aunt always boasting about her daughter ? She always did all this work every single day of her life but never seen her mother even hinting about any of this , to a single soul!

She looked at me and asked me “common u tell me , what is really so great about folding clothes or cleaning a tea cup ? !! “
Heeee , I giggled and to our bad luck , Miss betty heard us and shouted “You girls seems to have better topics to concentrate . Please go out , finish that and come inside “.. hmmmm… We marched outside classroom ….Well it was ok for us . This was not the first time we were shown the door . Well , I felt really sorry that I was laughing (not for going out of the class ! anyways class was always so boring . Why cant the teachers ever make it more interesting ? ) at nithya . But it was so obvious that she was so jealous . Her jealousy showed on her face and i couldnt help laughing . I knew her dad and mom . I didn't know what to say . I couldnt have to give her a study class on how all parents loved their kids . That would be so insulting .She would kill me surely . Nithya knew all that far too well . Her parents would just die for her .I really didn’t know how to comment on such topics. It was too sentimental and so i casually brushed aside the situation remarking that she was taking it all too seriously and may be her love for her family has got on her nerves . Well what else could i have told her ??

Summer holidays set in , and I had invited all my friends to my home to stay for some days .Nithya was over joyed. She loved my mom and dad , and had an excellent rappo with my grandparents . She made friends with all my cousins and her face was glowing with happiness. We all had a blast . We stayed up late , ordered food home , played the DJ music, danced , roamed around lots of near by places . It was as if my parents never existed . They were too cool anyways . In fact they too enjoyed our company and became one among us those five days .

"This is one thing I dont get in my house neeta … “ and I thought what !! ?? “ “parents , cousins, grandparants , food , what was she missing at her home “ !!!. Though she is my best friend ,she is sometimes like a tangled puzzle to solve .I couldn’t force her and she wouldn’t talk either . I gave a nod on my head and kept my mouth shut which was the best thing to do , when u don’t know what u ought to do !!!.

Finally , the day came when all my friends had to go back to their respective houses . I was surprised .! Nitya was so upset . This was not a “bidai ceremony “ but she literally hugged every one and even shed few tears . Now this was too much for me . What was she up to ?? is there any cousin brother of mine whom she was aiming at ? No !she was not that type anyways and besides she would go only for the person chosen by her dad .
Why was she so emotional then ?“Oh ! why does she always makes situations so dramatic! “ she should try her hand in movies .I was surprised that she even shed few tears . May be a carrer in movies was not a bad option for her at all .She was going back to her own house , and I didnt totally understand what was the need for such a melodrama , back home .

I accompanied her back to the bus stand , and I was teasing her how she trapped all my parents with her undying love and affection . She was still sad !!.
Hey common , now this was too much . I felt that she was insulting her parents in someway and got annoyed too . God! Why was she irritating some times .
Her bus came , and she boarded into the bus .I sat next to her to give her company till the bus took off trying to cheer her up .

She thanked me profusely for calling her over to my house . she told me how much she loved my family . How much freedom she had in these 5days with my family . She said there was totally no tension in my house and that she felt completely relaxed . It’s ok if we all didn’t get up at sharp time in the morning . It’s ok if we didn’t wash our hands after food , sat there and laughed. It’s ok to talk about guys . It’s ok to cling on mobiles for long long time . It’s ok If we didn’t help in kitchen . It’s ok if we didn’t take bath the first thing in the moring . It’s ok… God !!! She was now talking no stop and the list was endless .

The bus took off and I bid her good bye .Though she was highly irritating some times , she was an extra nice girl , and I adored her and was proud that she was my Best friend. What was all that she was talking about ? Were her parents so strict ?? Is it wrong to be strict then . Its for her own good anyways .? May she was over reacting , and yes grass is always green on the others side ;’I loved her parents , and she mine .
I laughed and could only describe her acts as chidish .

School ,College ...time just flew .

After 5 years of battling wth books , I am now a renowned doctor with a comfortable living . Now ,my parents were worried about my marriage and getting the perfect guy seemed more complex that completing my medical courses .My friend Nitya was soon to be married and I was thrilled that she was moving over to my place after her marriage. Marriage went on grand and she soon was my neighbour .

Its heaven, I tell you , when u have Ur best friend as ur neighbour .I come back after a heavy day and unwind myself to her . She is an exceptional cook and i love her pokkoras(a food item).
Soon it was D day for me , and I too soon crafted a nice niche for myself . From the start ,like arranging a carpet in the drawing room , till pillow covers , dishes ,to making my bed , I found everything so difficult ! Then came the big task – cooking .! I wondered how nithya managed to make it look all too easy . I never heard her once complaining about her house hold activities . Besides she was working too . How ever did she manage all this , so perfectly , so elegantly !.

And then one day , I called it quits . It was getting too much for me . i just couldnt handle my house any more . No matter how much i cleaned the house, it always looked dirty . Am a doctor , who wanted it tip top and sparkling clean at the hospital and my own house seemed to look like a cow shed . Just then nithya came with her good old smile and I just had to ask her this Question . How ?? Nithya gave all the credits to her mom and dad . They had made her to take up small tasks all the while even from chilhood that its all part of her life now .She does not feel all this as “work’ any more . She told me it was as easy and essential as breathing .!

She helped me with cleaning that day , but of course I didn’t allow her to do much work , not because she was “another girl “ but she was an expecting mother and I was too thrilled , in fact as excited as she was .

I feel life after a baby is born is something which can never be explained or described in words Its just far more than all that . U have to be extra cleaner , keep changing diapers , lack of sleep etc etc . But still it was so much fun . I could see a constant glow on nithya’s face .I too was learning a lot from her .

How the days passed by , she will surely not know ; but that kid was the light of my life and I too was so attached to jeena . Jeena was beautiful and at the same time smart and cute . She was a rare blend and I just loved her . Nithya as a typical mother was strict when it came to basic house hold work and as expected she didn’t spare Jeena . I couldn’t interfere too .Managing house hold activities had been my biggest failure when I had got married and I too was insistent , that Jeena learn it little by little ,starting from her early day’s .

One day I met the mother and the daughter outside my hospital , vey surprisingly . Jeena was excited as she was elected as the class representative of grade 5 and I too joined them for a small party . Nithya proudly spoke about her daughter and how well she managed the class when a teacher was not around ,and went on to say how good a girl she was and also that she was incharge for her classmates on a trip which they were going the coming week .

My thoughts were “Common nithya , she is just in fifth grade . How can she manage the class ? Obviously it would be the teachers and other staffs . Just because her daughter is a class rep… , GOD ! Why was she over reacting ! ? ""Suddenly , I remembered our childhood days , and about her boasting aunt.
Well I guess all the parents were just the same when it came to their own kids ! and I smiled .
Nithya caught me just in time and read my mind . Well , I guess when some one is there with you for so long and she happens to be ur best frined, I shouldnt be surprised .She always catches my mind in action and can even predict what was going through those cells . And am supposed to be the doctor here . But i loved her anyways ...She was a gem .

We were walking back , and jeena went to play . Nitya said “Neetu , am not praising jeena and spoiling her . I never got a word of praise from family and I crave for it even till this day. May be they thought i was too naive and could get spoiled or that i couldnt handle appreciaton properly or that it may get into my head .What ever the reason was , sometimes I feel they were true too . They knew me well . Of course I am careful that i do not over do it for jeena , but I really want to give her the appreciation and the freedom . I thank my parents profusely for what I am today , but I want to give her what I missed the most in my life .A mother always wants the best for their kids , but yes after going through years of parenting , I still may not be able to own up as a best mother . Jeena still could have compliants , later on .I express my love sincerely and openly to her , pamper her and yet at the same time i want to make her smart , independent , a good human and prepare her well for today's world .

Parenting is very tough task Neetu , and once you go through it u too will know .It is like Music where u need to get the correct blend of the ragas . It may turn out to be an extrodinary piece of art for years to come; well appreciated by many , an ordinary work of music or might even be withered and dead lying there untouched and least recognized if we do not give them the right polish where and when required . Or is music is too much to be compared with ; after all there are no exact parenting classes . Every parent grows with their kid .

You have to be good and timid at the same time and pulling it all through is sometimes really tough.I will always try to put up a good show and jeena could still rate me as a not so good mother , later on . I do not know and I realy do not care . What it matters to me today is that my kid gets the best of everything and i want to support and care for her , just like how our parents have done for us , all the while . I shall struggle , no matter how bumpy the ride is just to make sure that years later she is happily settled and independent . I would be there with her all the way till then ". Nithya was not so sure if i understood what ever she was telling me , but looking at her eyes , i knew she was getting very emotional .

Well , Nithya was wrong . I totally knew and understood her . She made an excellent mother and she was right . Parents never demand or even expect to be rated , if they were good , better , bad or what ever . We are a part of them and nothing in this world can change that . We would have done uncountable mistakes and got punished from them ,and even been forgiven by them .So when we become successful , rich and independent ,We should not wait even for a single moment to brush off any scars (if any ) caused by them in our making .After all they have always wanted the best for us. We are them , and they are us .